PlanetUSF

Just got word today that I might be off to New Orleans to help out…more details to come as soon as Im allowed to say.

*UPDATE*
Looks like it will be a little while before we go. They have more pressing needs at the moment….and my equipment is on another continent (Working on that)

Bike 15 mins very light

Boxing 1hr 30 mins
No Jumprope, no running

Ankle has started to feel better so I am going to ease into things…trying to take it slow…hard when you can see what you want…but something is keeping you from reaching it.

Ever seen the movie “Love Actually”? The scene where the guy stands outside Keira Knightley’s house, when her husband is upstairs? With the poster boards? I feel kind of like that. No explanations, go see the movie.

So this first week of school has been mildy chaotic but also routine. Except right now on Oasis my financial aid isn’t showing up so I’m a little worried but i’ll be headed to the financial aid office tomorrow to make sure everything is okay. I thought after this weekend Josh and I would get a little more romantic time but now I’m not sure. Which is kind of a bummer. We’ve only been married five months and only half of the that we’ve gotten to spend alone. Now I’m not saying we resent anything at all. It’s just what we thought would be a month, turned into two, and now approaching three. It’s just a little more than we expected.

I kill me. I’m not even a student yet but I’m all over USF, like white on rice.

Excuse my descent into Dear-Diary-land… on the second thought, it’s my blog, and if you don’t like it you can get bent. So there.

My dating life has been 100% nonexistent for as long as I can remember, except for the short-lived thing with Janine. I would joke about being the “mayor of Friendsville”; most of the women I knew would come to me when they were having problems with their boyfriends. In their eyes I was the standard by which others were measured but I was always ignored. (If I had a dollar for every time I heard “I wish he was just like you!” I would be rich enough that they’d actually notice me.)

To be completely truthful, very few of them were even my friends. Most of them were merely acquaintances to whom I was occasionally useful as an open ear.

Things seem to be changing.

It turns out that one of my female friends is in both of my classes this term, so I’m sure we’re going to be spending quite a bit of time together. Last Spring term, we had Electronic Materials together, and after each class I would walk her to her car since there is some concern about crime at night on the Tampa campus and an unaccompanied woman tends to make an easy target. That’s the rationale I used for spending time with her, at least.

This term, I will likely end up doing the same after Computer Security. That course also has a group project, and it’s not unreasonable to predict that we’ll end up being partners for that assignment. She has also invited me to come along with her and some of her friends and family members to “Howl-O-Scream” at Busch Gardens Tampa. We had already discussed the possibility of going out to the International Food and Wine Festival at Epcot this year. Both certainly seem fun.

I certainly enjoy her company. I’m not pushing for this to develop to anything beyond a friendship, though if it does, I certainly won’t complain. I won’t complain if it doesn’t, either. For now, I just have to see how it goes.

I’m not sure if it’s success breeding success or if it’s mere coincidence, but now that I have a female friend, whose company I enjoy, and that I actually get to spend time with… I find myself more able to be “social” with others. For example, during one of my recent DisneyQuest visits, I found myself in a conversation with a girl about my age who was also waiting to play PIU. As best I could tell, I didn’t screw things up too badly; it couldn’t have been too bad, since she didn’t turn and ignore me.

An even more amazing turn of events: as I was walking from the engineering area to the bookstore today—about a 3/4 mile hike—a girl actually came up and started a conversation with me. We chatted all the way from then until we reached the bookstore, at which point we had to part ways. I’m not absolutely sure, but I think she may have been flirting with me; flirting or not, I have to admit that it was a substantial ego boost to think that she found me attractive enough or interesting enough to approach. (Of course, seeing another girl with a shirt that read, “no money, no car, no chance” brought some of the bitterness back.)

All told, the past few days have been much nicer than I’m used to. All I can do now is hope things stay nice for a while before swinging downward again.

My body is being totally weeeird. Normally, I have this obsession with consumption. I’m always eating or smoking or reading or watching TV or sleeping…. always indulging my senses. For the past two days, I haven’t been able to consume shit. I can eat like half a meal a day, I’m up all night, nothing seems interesting. I’m not depressed, I know what that feels like and this isn’t it. I’m just… really nervous all the time. I’ll deal. In other news, my great aunt and her daughter stayed in their house in Billouxi while Katrina came through. No one has been able to get ahold of them since, and the city is destroyed. I truly hope they had the sense to get to a shelter when they realized how crazy things were going to get. I read an article that said there are bodies just floating in the water in some places, and there’s nothing anyone can do to retrieve them… i mean, what are they going to do with them?? Everything is underwater! Eek… And my really good friend’s dad just found out he has brain cancer. He’ll be dead in a few months. She is handling it really well. Or maybe she just isn’t dealing with it… i don’t know.

On the sunny side, my classes are really great. I wish I didn’t have so many lecture halls… so many freshman. Not that there’s something wrong with being 18… im not much older.. 20… they can do whatever they want, I just don’t want to be in class with people that don’t understand how things work here in college. It makes everything take a lot longer. It’s amazing how many people have been on campus. I can’t wait until people start skipping and I can actually get a parking space. The traffic usually ebbs after a month or so. Anyway, I really didn’t have anything to say so I’m just rambling.. I guess I should go to bed.

Thinking about my life, and watching whats going on so close, but so far away in our neighboring states. I beging to wonder about the way I live it. What am I…what are any of us doing? Guess we put our heads down and simply get absorbed in living out the little scenarios that we think are so important. I just got done listening to an interview with a man who had his wife pulled from his arms as their children watchen. Her last words to him were “take care of our children”. He kept saying “Im lost…thats all I had…” The most important things in our life truly are people. Forget all the cliches. Relationships…be they friends, family, significant others…strangers…thats what matters. Everyone needs to take a step back. Look at what you say to each other. Look at how you treat each other. Smile. Cry. Laugh. Sigh.

To quote Dan Millman…

“There are no ordinary moments.”

“Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness–if you had little time left to live–you would waste precious little of it! Well, I’m telling you…you do have a terminal illness: It’s called birth. You don’t have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason–or you will never be at all.”

Tell the people you love how you feel. Tell those you hate how you feel. Be the person you always wished you could be. Hold nothing back.

OK, 31 yr old mom of 2 goes back to school. Not your average exciting headline, but to me it’s everything. Of course, this time, I’m net savvy in a cyberschool world. What does this mean? Don’t have to dress to impress and can go to school in my PJs. Well, used to do that anyway but now it’s allowed. I’m pursuing my masters and am now also pursuing a job.

Difference 9 years makes, at UF I wasn’t a serious student until the last minute. Now, I’m serious from minute one. That is of course if I can carve out time to download and print slides, transcription of course, hand outs and find 3 hours to listen to lecture. Bring it on.

It is a fact that hurricanes cause climate change (they help cool the Earth). However, there is no conclusive evidence that global climate change has any effect on the intensity, size, or frequency of hurricanes. Anyone who attempts to correlate the hurricane activity with climate change needs to understand two points. 1. You must have a large sample size over many years to make any such claim. 2. Hurricane activity has a natural up and down cycle. Now, having said that, absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Global Warming
Through forecasting, science was able to save countless lives these past few days (science rarely seems to get the credit it is due). However, when science introduced the industrial revolution to civilization it may have brought the curse of global warming. Conservatives say that there is no way to say that global warming will happen. They are right. There are effects from pollution that may actually cause a global cooling. There is just no way to confidently say global warming will definitely happen. Liberals say that global warming is a serious issue that demands immediate action. They are also right. Even if there is just a 1% chance of significant climate change (a percentage that most scientists would say is too low) then steps must be taken to lower pollution of the atmosphere.

Lack of Science Education
One of the problems is that only a handful of members of congress have been formally trained in science. They are all lawyers and businessmen. They (and much of the general public) don’t understand that even a small change in global temperatures could have a very serious effect on the planet. It is not worth the gamble.

Capitalism
Capitalism is a practical, successful form of economy. However, one of the faults of capitalism (greed) is the fuel for much of the anti-environmental movement. The extreme anti-capitalist socialists go too far. However, the more moderate liberals do get this one right when they complain about the greed and power of some corporations.

Conclusion
If in 100 years global temperatures start to climb and the possible serious side effects many respectable scientists predict begin to happen (of which more hurricanes may be only the tip of the iceberg), people are going to wonder why their grandparents decided to foolishly gamble.

Well, the first day of class is here. Good luck to all of you out there. Meet some new people, and enjoy and treasure your time on campus. You will have the time of your life. Some people meet life long friends and some meet their significant other. So, good luck to what you do during your time at USF.

Fortunately, we do not have a hurricane to deal with right now. Unfortunately, to a lot of my friends in LA, AL, MS, and the Panhandle; lots of luck to you guys. I just hope everyone is doing just fine on safe ground.

So I met with my honors college advisor today and I will be starting honors college during the spring 06 semester. I am excited about that. Turns out, surprise, that my feelings are fickle. A few weeks ago I was wanting to start our family and take a break from school and now I’m wanting to finish my 2 yrs. of my bachelor’s and then head on through my masters. I’ve decided on the microbiology major and to start honors college. A little nervous about the thesis however.

And wait a minute, way nervous about organic chemistry!!! I start today in half an hour. Hmmm. We’ll see how it goes. And then later I have ecology and then I’m headed home. Lately, my new knitting project is baby socks and I’ve made at least five paris I believe. I just bought yellow yarn and currently I’m working on black socks. I’m glad we’re waiting because it would be such a struggle to have children now. Money is tight and I haven’t finished school. After this semester is over I will have 72 out of 120 credits that I need. The end is soon near.

Oh and now that I’m going into Honors I am, required to take 2 years of foreign language. I’m either opting for Spanish being that I have 4 years of training behind me. Not taht I remember that much. Or Latin because of the multitudes of help it will bring with sscience vocabulary words and well just vocabulary in general. I mean most our language is based on Latin….. I think.

We had a great weekend with Josh’s brother and sister-in-in law. I hope they weren’t too bored however. The most we did was play raquet ball, excerise, and swim. But I really needed mentally to have that easy going environment right before school started. So I’m glad they went along with it.

Had a soccer game today… completely f**ked up my ankle. Pictures in the gallery. Going to take a week or two to get back from this one. Damnit just when I got back into things.

Will halt the trainging schedule before starting this week, and pick it up from there.

Run -
2 miles - 13:36

No Swim, bad weather

The problem: USF customers are not getting their moneys worth.

I have spent a year at USF and cannot help but notice that many staff members act as though students do not deserve their utmost respect and courtesy. As a native Floridian, I can remember a time [early 80’s] when state employees were verbally and mentally abusive and no one [in the Governor’s office at least] cared or stood up for the citizens of the state. The driver’s license offices and tag agencies were the source of many complaints and routinely made the headlines as the more vocal senior citizens would tell horrific stories about their experiences. As a kid going for my first license, I was more worried about the actions of the examiner than the actual driving test. Then sometime in the late nineties a massive restructuring of the system as a whole took place and in many areas of Florida the restructuring is still going on today. Within the physical restructuring of government services a noticeable change in the lack of tolerance for abusive and disrespectful state employees was recognized. All of a sudden renewing one’s driver license or automobile registration is as simple as stopping by a convenience store where the clerk is grateful to do business with you (especially in the stores with the cheerful Middle Eastern clerks). However, in some places the all too familiar arrogance and abuse still lingers on, employees of the state on the campus of USF apparently did not get the memo. More than once, I have been treated disrespectfully and down right insulted by the pathetic ill-trained staff members that work in some of the most essential student resource offices. The disrespectful behavior is not limited to the poorly trained individuals that work at the counters in admissions, vehicle registration, and student disabilities services. It goes all the way up to the directors of the departments as well as the university Vice President and President Genshaft’s office. In a later blog, I will relay the details of the encounters, but for now, I will just say that the leadership or lack of leadership is to blame. Just to set the record straight, I may be expecting too much from a bunch of college graduates that have resigned themselves to being employed in dead end state jobs working behind a counter dealing with the common public. Nonetheless, my empathy for them stops when they make me wait while they talk to a family member on the phone and then begrudgingly hang up or put the party they were talking to on hold and then snap “What do you want” at me. As a former member of the United States Air Force, I learned that respect is earned and not given as well as the fact that a little social lubrication will allow one to conquer toughest assignments with most disagreeable personnel. More importantly, I learned about the corporate structure and how to get things accomplished in the most adverse conditions. I went on to use those very skills as a Quality Assurance Test Supervisor at Raytheon Electronic Systems Division. Although I am not an educated man in the sense of having graduated from a prestigious university, I believe that some of the best and useful lessons in dealing with people come from trial and error as well as borrowing great ideas from those who did go to the Ivy League schools. Some smart person once said, “Progress is leaving the place better off than the way you found it.” I think everyone can agree that providing the future Alumni a better experience at USF might just be a little progress.
“Simple” ways to get the courtesy one deserves when utilizing services on campus:
1. The most important step is to be the “Customer” not the student when dealing with staff members.
2. Introduce yourself and act professionally (Practice makes perfect).
3. When treated rudely or inconsiderately by a USF staff member ask for assistance from another staff member.
4. If another staff member is not available, ask to speak with a supervisor.
5. If a supervisor is not available, ask for the name and contact information of the department director (Many directors have secretaries and formality demands that you make an appointment through the secretary to speak with the director at his or her convenience).
6. Never make any threats or discuss your intentions with the offensive person (The best advice is to say as little as possible).
7. Make a written note and list all the details of the incident. (Who, what, when, where, and anything of relevance).
8. Always follow up by reporting the situation to the supervisor and/or department director (if we want to make a difference each of us must do our part and report each of the individual issues to the best of our own ability).
9. Escalate the matter if the department director seems disinterested (Usually the directors work for a Dean).
10. If you plan to escalate the matter, never leave the supervisor’s, director’s, dean’s, or vice president’s presence without informing them that you are not satisfied with the course of action they have chosen and inform them that you are going to resolve the matter at a higher level.

If you’re reading this thinking, are you mad, people do not go and complain to department directors, and VP’s. I will be the first to agree that people do not, but customers do and should especially at a university where one’s affiliation is for life. I personally believe that persistence beats arrogance every time. In my next Blog, I will relate the ten steps to my actual experiences at USF. Some of it is pretty funny actually. Any comments or criticisms will be greatly appreciated.

Well, here it is, another school year will start. After one week, we get a day off for Labor Day!

today has been for thinking. figuring out what the hell i think im doing with my life. my boyfriend and i broke up.. i left him… a couple months ago after about 2 years, and we just started talking again this week. it is so damned hard. Nothing horrible really happened to end it, we were just generally unhappy. Now, when we hang out, everything is wonderful. We are both struggling with the mutual love and hate we feel for one another. Everyone I know says to me “Jamie! what are you thinking? get away as fast as you can!” and some times i believe them, but other times i think its really none of their business and they dont know anything about me and dave anyway… and he got all our good friends. it sucks. i have no one to talk to because he is talking to them about it. i need some one unbiased. Ugh… but then again i dont want to talk about it. its so much easier to just shut down my feelings completely and pretend everything is fine. That was working fine until we started seeing eachother again. i know no one wants to read about this crap, but i have to say it somewhere.

A Song For Today: (bright eyes- messenger bird’s song)

the kitchen is cold
but the coffee is warm
and the suns coming up
the day has just begun
and your already bored.

bored of cheering me up
bored of calming me down
bored of drying my eyes
but there once was a time when you were the one.
you were the blue of the sky
you came after the storm
you were the switch on the wall
in the dark of the hall
im still fumbling for

cuz im lost in the black
i dont know where I am.
arms strecthed out in front
im calling your name
just as loud as I can

I know theres words that we will never speak
and the questions cant be answered easily
but I wanted to be easy so
nod your head if the plans have change
shake it, love, they stayed the same
smile at me and I will stay
start to cry and I’ll go away
just please dont leave me guessing.

So . . . I think that guy I was really upset about a few days ago isn’t dating that girl anymore. They both changed it on their facebook things. I’m a little confused. I’m not going to ask either way. It’s not my place to. I do kind of want to know what happened. What can I say? I’m nosey. But I’m not going to put myself into the situation where I could be hurt again. I don’t want that. I’m giving up on guys for a while. I need to be ok with just being me. By myself. When I’m ready for it, the right one will come along. It’ll be all good. I quit.

Bike @ gym
40mins
9.84 miles
15 intensity
Heart Rate +135bpm

Boxing 1hr 15 mins
Couldnt do leg lifts - Pulled quad
Couldnt run - shin splints

this sucks…